Of late…

Of late I’ve been realizing things. Yet again.

Well, this is the same ol’ life, which, in case you forgot, sucks.

Of late I haven’t been shagging much, and still change my underwear regularly. They are really cozy, and expensive. All I think about is that when I’d take a shower and change my underwear. Shit man, how was I so indifferent toward underwears till now.

I feel like writing a treatise on underwear philosophy.

Little things, no matter how much you ignore ’em, matter. After all they have weight and occupy space.

Of late, I’m not seeing too many movies. They don’t make sense to me anymore. Not even the hyped avant garde. They have all become monotonous and how!

Of late I’ve been living quietly and behaving prudently.


Shit man! This didn’t actually happen. Fuck!


(after one hour, still lying)

Fuck! Fuck! Fuckkk!


Of late, I’ve been realizing…

… I was neither off nor late!

[inspired by a true dream sequence]

Published in: on October 31, 2008 at 12:23 am  Leave a Comment  
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English Wikipedia today cites 4 India related headlines out of 8.

Published in: on October 23, 2008 at 2:14 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Run LHC Run!

Large Hadron Collider starts its full fledged test run today, at 9:30 a.m. (Western European Time). What a milestone man! Its really cool to see such grand collaborations in action. And what great astonishingly astounding theories it attempts to test- extra dimensions, theoretical predictions of time travel, among others.

But whats really interesting is the hype and the social impact it is making. Almost everyone who cares to even glance over the news is aware that in some isolated facility called CERN, there is this incomprehensibly named machine set to start testing some fantasized-by-many-but-pursued-by-(almost)-nobody stuff. And never before has humanity seen doomsday concerns with such geeky angles. Micro blackholes, strangelet disaster, vacuum metastability, etc., there have been lawsuits filed against, and bets offically announced to claim the end of the world. I find it completey ravishing. (If you are reading this stuff for the first time, quickly read this before you piss in your pants). Man, we have grown up! haven’t we? From geeks’ cupboards to scifi to pop culture, the big science has finally crept on to the breakfast tables.

It is a blissful moment; and for me, even if the world somehow does end, it is the moment worth dying for! And if the world has to end like this, it will surely end without a whiff! It will just be absorbed in the wormhole (or whatever does it). No war, no pains, we will all just cease to exist. It will be the ideal moment to unexist even for the most hardcore realist, as not only the individual, but everything which is out there will be gone. Nobody will be there to loose (or gain) from your death. No mournings, no unsatisfied deathbed wishes! We, all we know, this earth, and much beyond (I’m not sure of the technical extent) will be extinct! And considering the grave dangers we are already facing, its possibly the most peaceful scenario for us to leave at a time when humanity is past its puberty and still not sincere enough.  So even if the doomsday predictions make any sense, I don’t give a damn, and wish LHC a great run.

Published in: on September 10, 2008 at 5:23 am  Comments (1)  
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What does it mean?

here + here.

How do you know there is a truth out there?

I don’t. It may not be ‘out there’, or ‘in here’. It’s more of a personal thing.

‘Vrat’, hmm. What is your agenda then?

Who cares, it’s just a fancy name. It may not make the world a better place.


That was to appease the cynics. I do want to make the world a better place.


Oh yes. You see- when there is no point, things are pointless, aren’t they?

And how do you now what the point is?

The minimal purpose of the point is to avoid pointlessness. Beyond that, I am not assuming anything.

Are you a believer?

Very emphatically NO.

That’s contradictory!

[Warning: bombastic words] I am a reductionist, but not a greedy reductionist. I like to think that I am a meta- reductionist.

So why say it out loud?

Well, to make this damn idea more robust; to bring some justification to the inner turmoil; to see if there are others out there; and for the heck of it. Internet is full of extended (if not altered or exaggerated) personalities. See this and this.

So you are aware that it’s all charade?

“It does not matter now that in a million years nothing we do now will matter.”- Thomas Nagel.

Still, is it all interesting enough?

It, for one, is a pretty good anti-depressant. See here (scroll over the video and click on ’10: Depression…’).

So, what are your plans?

You shall see.

I am impressed. I wanna try such thing too.

Sorry you can’t sign up! Do anything at your own risk 🙂

Published in: on September 4, 2008 at 1:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The Highest Day of My Life

Education… ethics… MOrality… eXistenCe… hUMann… knooleGG…

errr… booom… boooooooooom…


Published in: on June 29, 2008 at 9:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

Wrong Reasons

One professor suddenly commented in the middle of the class-

“Your English can be said to be state of the art. We all must certainly look up to you.”

What could I have said except, “I just had a little practice back home.”

Well, that was not the first time people have praised me for all wrong reasons. Sigh.


… at least he got his second sentence right 😉

Published in: on May 29, 2008 at 6:34 pm  Comments (1)  
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एक दिल और हज़ार ट्यूलिप्स

(कुछ और त्रिवेणियां. उम्मीद है सुधी पाठकों को शीर्षक समझ में आ गया होगा.)

कल रात कुछ गर्मी थी, मैं खिड़की खोल के सोया था,
सुबह हुई तो नाक के साथ बिस्तर भी गुलाबी था.
… खांसते- खांसते मुस्कुराना कोई आसान काम नहीं है.

हुंह! हमेशा की तरह फिर सो जाऊंगा पलटकर,
इस बार शायद कोई बेहतर सपना दीख पड़े.
… उफ़! ज़रा ये कम्बख़्त बलग़म थूक कर आता हूं.

ये पत्ते, ये रंग, ये ख़ुशबू- सब उस खिड़की से आये थे,
बंद ही कर देता हूं, अब ठंड भी कुछ बढ़ गयी है.
… देर कर दी तो शोर भी आने लगेगा बाहर का.

हिलते हुए ट्यूलिप्स को देख रहा हूं सुबह से,
और बुरी तरह खांस रहा हूं, दवा भी नहीं खायी कोई.
… शायद ट्यूलिप्स भी मुझे देख रहे हों हिलता हुआ.

Published in: on May 6, 2008 at 2:25 am  Comments (5)  
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यूं होता तो क्या होता?

बस 15 मिनट ही तो बचे थे. सो भी सकता था वो, पर फिर उसकी ‘कम्प्लीटनेस’ की सनक का क्या होता? अर्द्धजाग्रत अवस्था में ही वो उस थर्ड क्लास फ़िल्म को निपटाने लगा.

गोली की आवाज़ से उसकी आंखें कुछ ज़्यादा ही खुल गयी थीं. चंद सेकेंड वो नैपथ्य में निहारता रहा, फ़िर जैसे कुछ घबराकर स्क्रीन को देखने लगा. आख़िर उसकी तन्द्रा भंग हुई और उसे इस असीम ज्ञान का बोध हुआ कि अप्रत्याशित रूप से अंत में हीरो ही मारा जाता है!

कहानी यहीं पर ख़त्म हो गयी, और बेचारा लुढ़ककर सो गया. उठने के बाद वो अपने अर्द्धजागरण और शायद उस फ़िल्म को भी बिल्कुल भूल जाएगा…

…और साथ ही उस ख़ून को भी जो उसने अभी-अभी किया था- फ़िल्म के हीरो का! उसके जैसे स्वयंभू वर्ल्ड-सिनेमा प्रेमी को इंप्रेस करने के चक्कर में हमारे हीरो के पात्र को अपनी बलि देनी पड़ी. हीरो को शायद बचाया जा सकता था, अगर वो बस कुछ देर पहले झपक लेता.

(या अगर मुआ मुझ जैसे हाइपर-एक्टिव विज्ञान प्रेमी का दोस्त न होता!)

[Dedicated to the life and ideas of John Archibald Wheeler– one of the scientific giants of the penultimate times who died recently.]

Published in: on April 20, 2008 at 9:42 am  Comments (3)  
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“How’ve you been man?”

“Prima, ‘nd you?”

“Yeah, fine.”
“Any mindfuck?”

“Heh, not here dude!”

“Ah, ok. Sorry.”

“So, the winter is over.”


“Ah, no. Not yet.”
“Or I dunno! Whatever.”

“It’s been quite some time now.”

“Well, I hope it’s timely!”

“Heh, ……….”


“Ok, fuck it. You must know I was worried. How ‘d fuck have things been man?”

“Umm, nonlinear.”

Published in: on April 17, 2008 at 10:24 pm  Comments (5)  

New Year

नया साल, इसमें नया क्या है?

क्या ही हो सकता है नया!

नया तो पल है,

और पलों की मसनद पर ये सपनीली दुनिया सजी है,

सपनीली दुनिया की मसनद


चलो धोकर आते हैं.

Published in: on December 31, 2007 at 6:42 am  Comments (4)  
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Happy Diwali!!!

एक अदद कम्बस्टेबल

पिछ्ली दीवालियों में घर पर ‘अंकुर’ तो था,

अबकी दीवाली ‘मैं’ घर पर मनाऊंगा,

…यहां आइंडहॊवन के अकेले, अंधेरे कमरे से।

ब्रेक-अप हुए अभी बहुत वक़्त नहीं गुज़रा था,

पर फिर से हम साथ ही जागते और सोते हैं,

…ख़ूबसूरत भी कितनी है कम्बख़्त तन्हाई ये।

रौशन कुछ करने की ख़्वाहिश मेरी भी थी,

ख़ाली बोतल लेकिन भभक-कर बुझ जाती है,

…अरे हां! याद आया- शरीर भी कम्बस्टेबल है!

[In Picture- Indian Barbie Doll]

Published in: on November 8, 2007 at 3:39 pm  Comments (2)  
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Mushy & Shroomed

Me, Ingmar(Mexico) & Firat(Tukey) set to a trip on 13th. Pure & Herbal. Hats off to Onder(Turkey) for providing his room, time, patience and support.

Believe it or not, I saw the patterns in the lawn. I had taken along a notebook in which I planned to write Philip K. Dick style notes. We played, among other things, ‘Dark Side of the Moon’. After recovery, this was what I found written on my Notebook,

फ़िर से वही हुआ. फ़िर से फ़्लॉयड को सुना. अभी कुछ देर पहले कितना कुछ सोचा था…

And it reminded me of those god forsaken days.

Published in: on October 21, 2007 at 6:29 pm  Leave a Comment  

I AMsterdam

Amsterdam truly is the city of lust. Believe me, it truly is, even for a desi guy.

For more information, check this out

But don’t leave until you check this.

Published in: on October 21, 2007 at 5:54 pm  Leave a Comment  

New Life

I am living in this house dubbed the ‘Big Brother’s’ house, in not so big city called Eindhoven. Whats great is that we are 23 people in total (including 7 girls), from 12 different nationalities, and 5 different continents !!! It obviously rocks. I don’t have to go anywhere- all university students come to party here 🙂

A Turkish Party at Big Brother’s

TU/e is small & cool. Nobody bugs you much. No attendance, you can eat burgers and drink coffee between lectures, and can leave if bored. So much so- often we have free beers at the department 🙂


Eindhoven is mostly dominated by TU/e and Philips. Lot of student and short-term employee crowd here- hence lot of parties going around.


I am proud to declare that I actually cook almost all my food, which is a simple high fibre, high calorie, high vitamin (in summary really high) diet.


Published in: on October 21, 2007 at 5:01 am  Leave a Comment  
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